[DANSK] Will need Havregrynskugler

I love the wee little hours. The ones late, late in the night - some may call them early in the morning - where I feel like I might be the only one still awake. I like to putter around in my kitchen, maybe getting that bread dough ready, so I can bake fresh bread in the morning. Getting the dirty dishes over with. Checking the internet. Being.

When I worked as a waitress, I had lots of those hours. Coming home from work late, usually after midnight, I would be hard pressed to go to straight to sleep. There was always a book to be read, an old newspaper to page though, or an episode of Seinfeld to watch.

These days? The wee hours have become the ones in the morning. No, I don't get up early to knead bread - I get up early to go to work. You see, the reason for the the post-exam silence around here is this: I'm on leave from school. And I've gone and gotten myself a job where we start at around 6.30 am. Luckily, there is somehow also a certain something to those early, early morning hours too. When the light is a little grey-ish outside, and the whole world still has sleep in their eyes.

I've told you quite a number of times how I'm not quite sure being a doctor is what I really want to do. Maybe being a doctor, or finishing medical school, is not what will make my life the best it can be. Will being a doctor make me the kind of happy I believe I should be?

There are tons and tons of reasons why I don't think so. There are also a gazillion reasons why this could be a job I would love. But for the last couple of months, it's been hard to see past the "I don't think so!" reasons.

It's not the job itself. It's not the patients, the long hours, the sad stories or the stress. It's not "you've got LIFE in your hands", it's not the white clothes or the clogs. It's the way things are run and done, it's effing traditions and "that's how it's always been done so don't you come here thinking you can change it". It's the hierachy. It's the lack of space and ability to be yourself, and not being able to have an opinion and a say in how things are done. It's the lack of commitment. From everyone, including, unfortunately, oneself.

So what I am doing these days is working as an assistant to a doctor who's doing a Ph. D. project on intensive care. In time, I'll be doing my own project (a much smaller one, granted), but for now, I'm just trying to tag along and learn as much as possible about the intricate ways of research. Maybe figure out something, about me, and my future. And showing up unbearably early in the morning, without too frizzy hair. Seinfeld is still on, you know...;)

Havregrynskugler
These are sweets we used to make when we were little, and yes, they aren't nothing but butter. I have no idea what got into me and M when we made a batch a couple weeks ago, but maybe we'd just both had a couple of those gruelling days and needed a little calorie-boost mixed with a good dose of nostalgia. They sure hit the spot. I'm not saying these should be eaten for breakfast, I'm just saying that if you happen to have a couple leftover in the fridge from the night before, they may be exactly what you need after an early rise and a couple hours of work. Just saying...

Ingredients, roughly:
125 g. butter, soft, but NOT melted
150-200 g. rolled oats
4-6 tablespoons sugar (if you've got vanilla infused around, use that)
3 heaped tablespoons cocoa powder
Extra rolled oats, for topping

Beat the butter to make sure it's good and soft. Add the oats, sugar and cocoa, incorporating it well into the butter. With your hands, roll the mixture into little bite-sized balls, and roll in a
deep dish filled with rolled oats. Put in the fridge and leave for a couple hours to get nice and cold. Indulge and eat. And remind yourself that oats are full of fiber ;)